Dealing With One-Uppers
I’ll just come out and say it: I know everyone hates one-uppers because they come off annoying. Whatever you seem to share about, they need to come in with their own over-the-top story that trumps yours. It’s unattractive, exhausting, and vapid.
It wasn’t until recently when I attended a wedding that I finally started to understand what one-upping was about. It became immediately clear that a guest at our wedding table was a one-upper. I said I like steaks, he said he makes the best steaks and has been to all the top steakhouses. I said I just came back from Key West, he had said that’d he’d been there many times and it was ok. It was ironic how difficult it is to get to know someone when they are constantly talking about themselves!
Instantly dismissing these people as arrogant assholes seems like a cop-out. There may be more behind their impulse to appear competitive.
When I began to think about the situation more emphatically, I realized this person is not trying to compete, they’re trying to keep up.
When someone sees you of a higher stature, your acceptance and validation mean a lot to them. They want to connect with you and be seen as equal, which is why they may go overboard with demonstrating their value. They may see a desirable or familiar quality in…
