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Psychology
How To Tell You’re Dealing With A Narcissist
1. Using Your Own Words Against You
Narcissists are not as daft and arrogant as they are commonly portrayed. They meticulously study you and get to know your weaknesses, especially by taking note of what you say, so they can use it against you later.
The idea is to take something you said earlier and plug it into a situation later, so they can get something you’re denying them. It’s psychologically powerful because you can get talked into doubting and fighting against yourself, which helps their aggression seem more justified.
Watch what for… “But you said…”
“You said you wanted a nice guy.” or, “You said you were looking for fun.” Because you said what you wanted, and they worked to fit in that criteria, now you’re supposed to give them what they want or make them feel justified, and it's all done by capriciously trying to hold you accountable for your own words.
It’s also tricky because we all do hate when people are not true to their word. With the narcissist it's different, is what they want explicit or hidden, and does it feel like you’re getting pressured into something? That’s how you tell.
