Self

The 5 Best Narcotics

Candidly rated for your pleasure

Brad
6 min readJan 7, 2023

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Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash

5. Cocaine

Number 5, but number 1 in making you feel like a king. You still can’t punch through a brick wall, but the feeling that you possibly could is enough to make you feel incredibly powerful, sexy, and confident. The super-human you wish you always were lies from one tiny spoon on some tan, spiked-hair, muscle-clad dude’s necklace. You take risks, drive fast, become immortal, and it’s so ridiculously easier to get laid that it should be illegal. (That’s why it probably is).

Downsides: This power has a steep cost. It’s an expensive habit, even if it's just a weekend thing, and it doesn't last long. You excuse yourself to the washroom every 20 minutes. You’re most likely going to act like a dick and get into at least one argument. It’s chasing the impossible, and usually, at some point in the night, it just turns a person into an edgy arrogant prick that no one can stand to be around.

Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

4. Mushrooms

Hallucinogens like psilocybin have the power to break down mental barriers, become a better person, or at the very least, experience quite…

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