Self

The 5 Best Narcotics

Candidly rated for your pleasure

Photo by Mishal Ibrahim on Unsplash

5. Cocaine

Number 5, but number 1 in making you feel like a king. You still can’t punch through a brick wall, but the feeling that you possibly could is enough to make you feel incredibly powerful, sexy, and confident. The super-human you wish you always were lies from one tiny spoon on some tan, spiked-hair, muscle-clad dude’s necklace. You take risks, drive fast, become immortal, and it’s so ridiculously easier to get laid that it should be illegal. (That’s why it probably is).

Downsides: This power has a steep cost. It’s an expensive habit, even if it's just a weekend thing, and it doesn't last long. You excuse yourself to the washroom every 20 minutes. You’re most likely going to act like a dick and get into at least one argument. It’s chasing the impossible, and usually, at some point in the night, it just turns a person into an edgy arrogant prick that no one can stand to be around.

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4. Mushrooms

Hallucinogens like psilocybin have the power to break down mental barriers, become a better person, or at the very least, experience quite…